Exhaustion
by November Reign
Summary: ONESHOT! Story based and set after the filler episode where Kenshin gave Kaoru a ring. Kaoru had have enough of Kenshin insensitiveness towards how she feels about him and just suddenly felt tired of their situation.


They said food can fill the void and emptiness you feel. Food also helps you heal and gives you back the energy you lost. When you got your heart broken, you feel tired and empty. They said when you got your heart broken all you have to do is eat and you will feel better. I've already took about five pounds of food yet I still feel empty inside. In fact I've never felt emptier, more tired than ever…

"Exhaustion"

**by : Holy Reimaund (HCK)**

She looks up in the ceiling to stop the burning tears to fall. It does burn her eyes as it starts to well up once again with fat, heavy and warm tears. The seemingly endless tears from that awful moment once again made a river path down her face to her neck. One by one it drops. As it drops, fresh wave of pain clout in her heart.

She quickly wipe her face away. Everyone said she's acting quite exaggeratedly. Fine! Granting that he didn't mean to be that… mean. But still he was so insensitive, so oblivious to how she feels. He's always like that. He's always so nonchalant about everything when it comes to her. She's tired of it, tired of waiting when he'll come around.

_'Maybe it's because he really doesn't care…'_

Fresh new set of tear threatened to fall as the last thought appeared in her mind. She doesn't want to jump to conclusion because he did save her a lot of times before. Yet she couldn't help but feel that way. She couldn't help to think that way. That awful day still replays itself in her mind…

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Her hand felt swollen. He deserved that punch. Her tear couldn't stop from falling no matter how much she tried to held them back. The alcohol Sanosuke made her drink only made her pain worse. And her she thought alcohol numbs the pain.

She thought her dreams finally come true when Kenshin gave her 'this' ring. She thought she'll finally 'his' wife. Something she had dreamed of for many months now. She had prepared herself, insisting on doing all the chores as a training so she can be a good wife. It just all have to go to waste.

Oh, she was but a fool! To make matters worse, everyone knew she had been a fool. He didn't give her the ring to ask her hand for marriage. He just gave her the ring for the sake of giving her something and everyone knew it. Then he let her run around thinking the other way. Oh, did it hurt?

She stood up. She just doesn't have the energy to see him right now. It just hurts so much. Maybe a little food will get her by again. Yet as she made her way out to get her food, she couldn't help but feel a different kind of pain. He did go over board this time. This is something she can't just bypassed anymore.

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Now she already took so many food, yet she still doesn't feel any relief. Her pain just even seem to grow more and more painful as the second counts. It only made her feel insecure of herself. She used to be strong and not in need of anyone. But right now she's depending on food to make her feel much better.

_'Maybe he just feel like it's his responsibility to save me as a payment for him staying in the dojo'_

She shook her head. If her last thought is true, then it means only one thing. Yet she couldn't finish the thought. Thinking of it make her sick and makes her heart break over and over again. Thinking of it makes her feel like dying. And she just couldn't see him that way. Yet, as she put her thoughts together, she can't help but think that she got…

_I got played by him…_

Could he really be that cruel? Did she really got played? She couldn't take it anymore. She slumped against the table. Her chopsticks dropping, and so is her food. She now let countless tears fall. She just doesn't care anymore. She is in pain. And her pain needs an escape.

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He heard her slump against the table and felt his confidence drop as well. Flowers in his hand, he doesn't really know if it can make her feel better. He know for sure that she was really hurt this time. And it hurts him to know she's in pain. And his pain doubled as he remind himself that he is the very reason she's in pain. He almost wanted to cry himself.

_'Oh Kaoru, gomen…'_

It was all he could think of saying. What is there to say anyway? Anything his mind come up will only make his situation worse. He may not mean to get engage with her but it certainly doesn't mean he doesn't want to be married to her. In fact he find the idea very appealing

But now, as he hear her cry, he couldn't help but think that its too late for him. He couldn't help but think that he already pushed her over to edge, going over board as to be insensitive. He had been blunt to say everything was an accident and that he doesn't plan to marry her. He had been insensitive on how she would feel and of how she will take it. He could've gone slow and gentler. He stood his ground. He needs to do this, make her understand that he didn't mean it the way it turned out.

He finally got to her and saw her slump and the table, crying much gentler. As gentler as her crying from before yet it seems to him that she's in much pain now. He felt his mouth go dry. His heart beat rapidly and loudly in his chest as it constrict with agony. She's wasn't meant for crying. It's obvious that her lithe body couldn't contain her pain.

_'Kami-sama! What have I done?'_

He instantly drop to his knees beside her. His arms pulled her from the table. Turning her face to him, he cradled her in his chest. He rock her softly, stroking her hair as she cried harder. She tried to resist him but his arms only went tighter around her. He eyes zoned-out and became lifeless. He hurt Kaoru, he gave her so much pain than anyone had inflicted upon her.

"I'm tired of you, Himura! I couldn't take it anymore! I've had enough of waiting for you. I'm exhausted of everything. I give up…"

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She slumped upon his chest. What does he want now? If he thinks he could just pretend like nothing happened then his wrong. He would just come here and interrupted her tear-jerking act and he thinks it over?

She tried to resist him. She pushed on his chest trying to escape him. Her actions prove to be futile as his arms only tightened around her, bringing her closer. Once again slumping on his chest, she allowed herself the comfort his arms give. The comfort she doesn't want. The comfort that had her fooled from the start.

"I'm tired of you, Himura. I couldn't take it anymore. I've had enough of waiting for you. I'm exhausted of everything. I give up…"

She whispered into his ears. She felt this is no use anymore. It hurt to say that but giving up is the only way for her not to be hurt again. It's her fault in the first place. She had hope. He didn't give any hint and he certainly didn't give her false hope. She's the only one who think they are more than what they really are. She is a fool

"But I love you, Kaoru-dono. I didn't mean to hurt you. Sessha swears it in his heart. And it hurts me to see you in pain. But if it makes you happy, I'll go so you could move on…"

Then his lips brush over hers…

His arms loosened as he stood up and turned to walk away…

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Tear fall…

… in his eyes

He could not believe this was it. He couldn't blame her though. He saw her pain and it only justified why she said that. If going away from her will makes her happy, even if it kills him he will go away.

His head slumped down. He never felt weak like this before. He never felt so vulnerable. Most of all, he never felt pain this intense before. He should have known that she's in need to have him express his feelings for her.

Too late…

He lost his chance. And now he's back on the streets to wonder for the rest of his lonely and cold life. Now much colder for Kaoru is not there to make it warm for him anymore.

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"...I"

_Move your stubborn feet, Kamiya!_

"…I"

_You fool, he's going away!_

"...I"

_Stand up! Go after him!_

"…-Kenshin!"

She stumbled on her feet. Her body shaking as she tried her best to follow wherever he went. He cannot walk away from her like this. Not now, not ever…

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He felt her slump on his back. Hear her tears. She followed him!

_'…Ouch'_

He felt her hand slap on his back and was preparing himself for another hit when he felt her hands slide away. He felt her whole body being supported only by him. He turned just she sank on her knees. Gently, He gathered her in his arms once again. He brought his face on his neck as he nuzzled on her cheek. Her tears mixing in his own.

"You hurt me enough and now you'll run away? How much more do you plan to hurt me?"

That brought him much pain. But it also give him a relief to know she doesn't want him to go away. He kissed her temples and rested his forehead on her own. He let his eye flutter close as he listen to her hiccups. His thumb brushing upon her cheeks, brushing and willing her tears away. He felt her breath on his lips and, Kami-sama!

He pressed his lips on her and heard her intake of breath. He felt her hands went on his shoulders and he deepened his kiss. He gently nipped on her lip. He finally know what he's missing. Does she have to taste this sweet? And made him year for more.

He tipped her head backwards, opening her more for him. He tasted her, claiming her lips his own. He seemed insatiable yet he remained gentle on her. Its only a kiss, yet it made him feel so complete. So overwhelmingly complete. This feels so right…

He gently pry away from her even though he's clearly desperate on having his lips upon her again. His eyes fluttered open and gaze upon her. He had never seen anyone so beautiful before. She so beautiful after she was kissed.

Her pouting lips, swollen. Her blush-stained cheeks made her face glow in radiance. Her closed eyes wet from tears accentuated her slightly opened lips. Her breath tickles him. She's so beautiful its so unfair for everybody else already. And she's only his. And he's also the one responsible bringing her pain. His hands shook

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She opened her eyes and saw his soft and shiny violet orbs. She had seen his insecurity yet it vanished just as she fully opened her eyes. She felt her blush deepen. She was kissed by him in a public area!

Did she really care?

She rest her forehead on his neck. She brought her arms to wrap around his neck as he stood up to carry her back to the dojo. He took extra effort to be gentle on his hold on her. It surprised her that her could be strong and gentle at the same time.

She felt him kneel. Kami! She didn't notice they are already in the dojo, much less in her room. He laid her on her futon. She quickly, sit still but he brought her down and put the blanket over her.

She held his hand when he was about to go away.

And his smile made her lose her breath…

"I won't go away, Kaoru-koishii… Rest, tomorrows a busy day for both of us. We going to make sure everything is legal so no one will contest our marriage…"

He kissed her forehead and left her to sleep.

Is it her or he just proposed?

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YAY!

Well, that was my first Rurouni Kenshin fic ever! Don't forget to R&R

Oh yeah, I don't own RK, It belongs to Nobuhiro Watsuki, Shonen Jump, and Sony Productions.

I'm going to upload my new site now. And to BSSM Fanfic readers, I'm going to upload Here comes the rain chapter 3 soon.


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